On July 15th, I went to Philly for the afternoon. :::"Philadelphia Freedom" plays in background:::
At any rate, I decided to duck into my alma mater's library to quickly check my e-mail. I had applied to several jobs on the 12th (oh, the fun of unemployment!) and hoped to get some more interview requests. I had gotten one on the 12th, and the high from that instant gratification hadn't worn off yet.
In short, I was *not* prepared for what awaited me in my Gmail inbox.
Upon signing in, I found an e-mail from "Peg Crits" containing a link to a free resume critique from JobFox. For the uninitiated, JobFox is a job search site that makes you fill out a long and meaningless application before presenting you with a list of mostly outdated job listings. Because I had yet to figure out those little tidbits of information, I took their offer of a resume critique at face value and clicked the link in the e-mail.
As I read the "critique," I could feel myself getting red in the face. I may have even broken out in hives, as that sometimes happens when I get extremely agitated. Not a good look.
I'll share with you some excerpts from the "critique" (an *unsolicited* one, I might add), as well as my reactions to them.
"Dear Natalie,
I'm the JobFox resume expert who was assigned to evaluate your resume..."
So, you're a resume expert, and you're giving people evaluations that they didn't even ask for? In this economy? I take it, then, that people aren't exactly knocking down your door to get your opinions on their resumes. Oy vey. Go ahead...
"I should warn you about my style: I'm direct and to the point, so I hope you won't be offended by my comments."
Hope springs eternal.
"Your resume needs a boost from a visual, content, and overall writing standpoint to engage the reader. It needs to make them want to learn more about you. I didn't find it to be exciting, and it didn’t make me want to run to the phone and call you. In short your resume is effectively sabotaging your job search."
You think my resume is supposed to make you feel excited? And that it's supposed to make you want to run--not walk--to the phone and call me? Lady, this is a resume, not a personals ad.
"The appearance is not polished, and it doesn't say 'high potential Copy Editor.'"
Well, that's a good thing, because I'm not applying for any Copy Editing positions (I try not to make the same mistakes twice). I enrolled in a Masters program toward the end of my Copy Editing stint so that I wouldn't have to take another job like that, or did you not notice that in your "evaluation"?
And, btw, "high potential" should really be hyphenated...unless you think that I'm a potential Copy Editor who's high. Well, I *did* feel a high of sorts from getting an interview so quickly, but now it's gone. Way to kill my buzz, Peg.
"As I was reading your resume, I was trying to imagine myself as a hiring executive, looking for that ideal Information Technology Professional."
Wait a minute. Didn't you just tell me that my resume was supposed to say "high[-]potential Copy Editor"? And now you're telling me that it should make me look like an "ideal Information Technology professional"? This former Copy Editor is starting to think that you're just blindly pulling stuff from that hideously long application you JobFox people made me fill out. Maybe you're a "high potential resume writer."
[At this point in my reading, I could feel my blood pressure begin to return to normal. Then, I could feel myself start to blush at the embarrassment of even briefly taking this "Peg Crits" person seriously. People passing by were probably wondering what my problem was. (Job)Fox hunting, anyone? ]
"Your resume didn't include a summary section."
How high do you have to be to not notice the "Skills" section *summarizing* my skills at the top of my resume? Unless...you're not a real person and are just a bot that spews out "critiques" so that people will feel sufficiently bad about their resumes to have them rewritten by someone (hopefully a real person this time) at JobFox?
*DING-DING-DING-DING-DING!!*
"Your resume is selling you short, and I recommend that you make the investment in having it professionally rewritten."
By you? HA!
"To encourage you to make the investment now, we are offering our best price on our resume writing services in the first 7 days after you view your resume evaluation. Save 30% off our price of $499. In addition, we are the only resume service that offers the option to pay for your resume in installments. We spread the cost over six months to make our service affordable for everyone." [emphasis Peg's]
Is this some kind of sick joke? You would charge $499 to rewrite a one-page document? The one that just got me an interview?
While my resume could always be improved, I wouldn't dream of shelling out anywhere close to $499 to some so-called professional who works for the company that has just insulted my intelligence with this poorly written, automated, sorry excuse for a critique.
I should also mention that a quick Google search for "Peg Crits" reveals that countless others have received critiques that are 98% identical to the one I got. Check out the examples on Complaints Board.
Seriously, Job Fox: how dumb do you think people are?
My advice: avoid these people like the plague. If you feel that your resume needs professional rewriting, there are many legitimate services out there that will treat you with respect and won't use emotional manipulation to make a quick buck from the unemployed.
If you're the do-it-yourself type (like I am), you can pick up a book on resumes at your local bookstore or online. I just bought Knock 'Em Dead Resumes and Knock 'Em Dead Cover Letters by Martin Yate, C.P.C., both of which are a thousand times more nuanced and better written than the e-mail I got from Robo-Editor.
Although I decided not to let this little episode ruin my daytrip to Philly, I spent way too much time reading the e-mail and Googling "Peg Crits" afterward. That's the last time I check my e-mail while I'm away for the day, at least until I knock someone dead with my cover letter and resume.
Wow, that was a long post. Oh well: an epic post for an epic fail.
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